Inavailability

Inavailability,
A word justifying absence,
Or missing, midst of perseverance,
Perhaps an act of abstinence?

With time,
Only return, could justify,
Or continuation? it magnifies,
Towards sunshine and blue skies,
Or misery, leading silent sighs,

In life,
One always has an option,
Emotions, could lead torsion,
Or patience, drawing to another fraction?
Either way, what's been mentioned,
Prints into memory, written in reactions,
When all there is, 
An existence, missing in action.

I Miss You.

Double Ying

From the moment of Hello,

I was tied into continuous growth,

From steadfast wall,

I evolved soft for this oriental doll,

Brilliant, yet a gorgeous lady-like,

Man, this woman had stolen my sight,

She has this calming voice, that made it right,

In darkness, she came lighting bright,

Since the double “Ying”,

On our ice-cream waffles,

I became this thing,

Like a kid with his chocolate truffles,

For hours, days or momentarily,

She never fails to amaze me,

Mindful, yet decent to many,

But always intriguing & foxy to me,

A family oriented girl, is rare nowadays,

Yet a well mannered one too, she was in every way,

Her kind heartedness & deep understanding,

She is responsible, warm and loving,

For motivation and joy of freedom,

I’ve slowly realize, of what she had become,

My one spontaneous support system,

On any day I fell rock bottom,

Or days felt like victor ludorum,

Home material or an adventure partner, was my question,

But God answered me both, in one sanction,

Worldly progression or personal discussion,

Or even the chilled coffee session between usual errands,

For you, I’d be the strength and motivation,

By you, I hoped to be accepted as I have seasoned,

Because to you, I felt this urge to mention,

That with you, I wish to complete my remaining mission.

- 17th May 2017

Group of Baboons

In life,
You seek success in strive,
You look for motivation to drive,
You work just to stay alive,

Then,
You see dummies getting rich,
You read shallow names getting big,
Your weak student getting the hitch,

So,
You thought life should be easier then it is,
You thought you could do better then these,
You thought you didnt need to keep freeze,

But, think again.
Are we all abiding the loons?
Or are we all to be goons?
These people telling us words and toons,
You'll be blinded with green & silver spoon,
Unless you know the collective nouns for these group of baboons.

(Be different. Be proud. Be real to your niat)
Al-Baqarah - The Cow

Thank You Allah, For Thy Light.

O' Allah,
You've opened my eyes
Revealing the exit from a shallow dream
The one that never lies                
Guiding me, in completing my deen                                                                                      
O'Allah,
I have prayed for thy cursor        
And you have portrayed and brought
I was blinded by the sworn deceiver
But never have you skipped my thought
                                           
Thou have blessed me with knowledge
Accompanied by patience & calmness
To bear what I never thought to page
Yet refrain from rage & madness

My mind is free from any plague
The moment I discovered what was fake
With your blessings, I am now awake
Realizing there was nothing at stake

O'Allah,
Thou tried me to stand firm
And showed me the worst of dreams
Yet teaching me moral and values
And not be a man of "Dayus"

Through all of experience
To be a better man with compliance
To your rules and guidance
I learnt honour and hearted alliances
                                           
Those whom I could entrust
When I'm ready with fatherly tasks
And to bury in me is a must
Appreciation of many loving casts

O' Allah, bless them with rahmat
For they do not know, where to start
But for their mothers' name to guard
With your hidayah to purify the heart

After all the lights you have given me
Alhamdulilah, Syukur for your rezeki
With respect, honour & responsibilty
Let only good names be in my reality
A good decendants & the woman to be.

Allah Maha Besar

Sewaktu Tunang,
memang berdarah manis,
Syaitan akan berbisik terang,
mematahkan semangat tipis,
Kalau lemah, sangat malang,
Kerana niat mendirikan masjid
sangat dibenci dan pantang.
supaya sentiasa berdosa panjang.

You are my First Man. The Last son of Mahmud.

You taught me patience, to keep calm,
You taught me respect, no matter where they came from,
You taught me to share and understand others, 
You taught me that there is proper timing for everything,
You taught me mercy & greatness,
You taught undivided love and care,
You were my Second Teacher, second to Mom,
You are my First Man.
The Last son of Mahmud.

Love and Moderation

A walk, by the recreation,
breathing the fresh breeze friction,
and view the greenery sanctioned,

To feel the freedom,
while speaking to nature's confession,
Those are my daily mission.

Yet, after keeping my loafers,
I loaf, I lay,
In gloomy tunes, I decay,

Wonder and ponder to no turn,
For all that they have taken and burnt,
Bringing hopes and dreams to urn,
Yet never a lesson learnt,

We take, we make, we break,
To left and right, we fake,
But none is awake,
Oh! stop it, for goodness' sake,

Take a moment for realization,
This race was never your mission,
Why bow to all the promise of fiction?
When all we need is Love and Moderation.

-R.R

Dilemma for an Appreciation

Struggle, trembling to shout,
Slowly, breaking to go out,
lips divided, yet quietness remians,
Undisturbed, as silent calm plains,

Repeated series, absence of justice,
Recorded if may, juries won't have say,
Even slain & laid with enforcement,
Unsure still of interested judgement,
Yet, lead risks of unspoken comments,

I between us, Me amongst we,
The weakened link,
Between reds, the suffocating pink,
A last, choices of will stays a wheel,
Familiar decisions, to keep away tensions,

Fake smile & ignorance of what's felt,
Telling oneself, wait for another time to melt,
For the bond of company, is the positiveness of the many,
And Appreciation, is by understanding another & to continue without asking any other.

Memories break you to debris

Memories break you to debris,
Freezes you to your least,
Keeping you alive still for the fees,
Pale, poison and trauma even when you feast,
A paradise won't matter with one hunting beast,

living in present nature and future fantasy,
Yet, fear lingers destroying every built intimacy,
blocks every inch of free soul into sodomy,
spiritual anatomy as thin as brain surgery,
kicks back every now and then without a jury,
Lost and confusing, creating the sceptical me,
Puzzling my priorities, leading to brighter or bury.

Paddy Seeds

Paddy seeds,
Hope for growth during plantation,
Nurtured for returns of expectations,
Planned and breed for perfections,
Guided by superior institution,

Yet, in reality,
Some grew with influence of nature,
Not all succeed to the grinders,
Defects still be found by planters,
Several be thrown to wild beggars,

Still, most end up in rice platters;

We were born with hopes and dreams,
Wishes to reach promised creams,
Plan and strive for perfections,
Floats and endure for expectations,
Cold rocks might burden,
Yet, prevail with patience,
Despair or failure might sanction,
Still, we matured to fight life frictions,
Till today, as evidence,
Is that you have been reading my little quotation.

Before I say goodnight and goodbye

Dark starry sky,
Only neon lamps to light the eyes,
Pitch, silence creeps,
No chatters, just sounds of street sweeps,
Night was dark blue,
Things without you shadowed to hue,
We talked, laughed and shared,
And I tried to run, enjoy, ignore,
Stop time and never to pout of it's end,
Everything felt as smooth as sand,
Except the distance between our hands,
Scenario repeats,
Without the night's lullaby,
For every time,
Before I say goodnight and goodbye.

Get well soon Laksmi!

A friend of mine was admitted to the hospital recently. We really are sad about the news and have made a card for her to show our support! =). And this is my poem to our little friend Laksmi. so here goes... hope you enjoy it Laksmi...Get Well Soon yea! be strong there!

Laksmi,
Oh Laksmi,
Oh when will thee,
Return to our little family?

Far away from our mothers,
We are your sisters and brothers,
Thus, we will always be the one who bothers,

Tired, hunger or sick,
Through that all, we'd always stick,
Won't let none left, nor leak,

You are our sunshine,
Counting days of rise and shine,
We'll always support you from behind,

Now tell us when will u come back to bind? =p

Be strong Babushka Little sister! =)

Music Genre, Is my Latte.

Hardcore Rock,
Rushes energy till I flock,
Hyped & running even when I could walk,

Blues & Jazz,
My moment of truce and arrest,
Feel it, shut up, and rest,

Country or Classical,
Old, boring or traditional?
Yet Evergreen, never had a funeral,

With these, my motivation bounds,
Be it little mouse or ferocious hounds,
This is my story of the sounds.

Through love is true love

Through experience,
I've made choices and wizened,
Thus, Learnt to prevail,

Through fate,
I've made changes and ends meet,
Thus, learnt to survive,

Through destiny,
I've made sins and mistakes,
Thus, living as the norms,

Through maturity,
I've found feelings and passion,
Thus, lining emotions,

Through emotions,
I've seen varieties and personalities,
Thus, into finding her,

Through her,
I've seen laughter and happiness,
Thus, the attraction,

Through her,
I've felt undoubted care and in control,
Thus, the accumulative growth,

Through her,
I've equaled giving and versa,
Thus, the balanced assurance,

Trough her,
I've chosen sacrifice and patience,
Thus, striving for the coming,

Trough her,
I've found master piece and life completion,
Thus, search my heart and fought lust for decision,

The reason because..

Nay by lust,but through love,
Thus the true love.

Definition of modern"Perempuan Melayu Terakhir"

Mixture of cultures,
Yet knows modern future,

A few languages to speak,
Yet not so gossip nor leak,

Well mannered and polite,
Make others spots her the light,

Rich of knowledge by education,
Yet humbles from attention,

By and for words respected,
Nonetheless, never to be suspected,

Mind sets of modernization,
Yet covers with moderation,

Religious yet flexible by understandings,
Sporting with humours yet not broadcasting,

A set of Baju Kurung and a pair of sneakers,
Portraying value trunks with ready attires,

All of these, kept pure and uphold till today,
Is the Definition of modern "Perempuan Melayu Terakhir".

What Are We?

Without faith..
Wandering, hopeless, blind,
No leads, not a wall to bind,

Without fear..
Freedom, brave & ability,
But not knowing value of availability,

Without minds..
Strict, Yes or No, false or true,
none to consider nor pity, no thinking nor blue,

Without rules..
Hooligans, everything may..,
No rights or wrongs, none to abide nor lay,

Without passion..
Neutral, sake of did and done,
None for joy, soulless as stoned,

Without mistakes..
Perfect, correct, fit,
Practice nor concentration in need,
But not knowing value of getting there,

Without feelings..
Static, Emotionless, nothing to be glad,
Not knowing value of appreciation, happy nor sad,

We are,
What we cherish and perish,
What we complaint and complement,
What we tears and cheers,
What we fear and dears,
What we experienced and learned,
What we made of us,
Are who we are.

To-get-her

Once saw A girl so cute,
She shut me to mute,
A little towards strange,
Kept others out of range,
A heart so pure,
I was drooling, lured,
Her swift style,
I drop my jaws and smile,
Beauty so inspiring,
I kept on going,
Her attraction, My satisfaction,
I was ambitious, She was voluptuous,
Yet unpredictable, but understandable,
Her perspective, I be receptive,
Feeling so strong, It took me long,
To get her,
To be Together.

Survival of the Heartache

It was..

Morning bath and dressing up,

Planing for special dates of the calendar,

Getting gifts to see smiles,

Affection and passion to see love,

To make it start,

Then it was..

Code dependence and joining each,

Cherish and be cherished,

Cooking for two,

Caring for both,

To make it last,

Later it became..

Both each's responsibility,

Your bad day is mine too,

My happiness is yours too,

Nightly, both is each's last seen,

To make it together,

Yet, after a true show..

Together evolved distance,

To see the other, he bare not,

Trust how he strive, still could not,

Time given, yet longer and fading,

True love never stops,

Yet relove, there is no such,

Thus, it is now..

Leaving, that he must,

Stay away in order for strength,

Awkward, hard and hurtfulness,

He must bear as memories cannot be erased,

For each's future, moving on is masterpiece,

And Thus,

Sacrifice a lie, He had to make,

To instill hatred in the other half,

For distance and ignorance,

To kill feelings and care dead,

To survive the hurt with hatred,

And ease movement from the break.

And Last,

To say good bye and good night.

Happy Birthday Brother

Russian poem translated

Let dreams be cherished

Let all days hope be lighted up

Mood clear and bright

Never let abandon nor leave

Let love beautifully shine

Give and spare wonderful new things

And let’s make this wish

Every day not only on your birthday

Happy birthday to my brother – Raihan Rahmad(18/11/08)

Mothers are the Origin

Mothers are angels in training,

Thee are most caring and capable,

To family life thou art responsible,

Strong believe and patient thee hold,

Thou queen who leads child to gold,

For family needs, no later,

Thou art better then nurse master,

Mothers are angels in training,

Happy 46th birthday Mom!

- 16th sept 2006

Boring Life

What future of life,

If every second every week,

Not a second of freedom,

Not a second of Nature,

Not a second of Own Thinking,

And plan of own future of life,

7 days a week,

24hours a day,

60 minutes an hour,

All full of each doing but own-self,

It will be uncoloured and dark life,

It will be Black and White life,

Which is incomplete,

Which is a Boring Life

My laughter

My laughter makes,

A sweeter sound,

And smile is bigger,

When you’re a round,

I am addicted,

Your company’s addictive,

Towards your feelings,

My heart’s receptive,

With you, My life seems as sweet,

As with you I feel the beat,

Also the glare and the heat,

From you my angelic lit,

Your attendance, Shining,

My hearts’ all glee,

Your voice, singing,

My smile all be,

Your words come trailing,

My head jumps free.

All in all, thou art mine

Beauty so sweet,

Beauty so cute,

Beauty all is in you,

Shiny fair, Shiny Care,

Shining all that is you,

Beauty, Shiny is but a word,

Bringing meaning like a sword,

Nice yet strong and sharp,

Yet meaningful when in guard,

Thou art my girl,

Thou art my care angel,

Thou art my guardian medal,

All in all, thou art mine.

(-June 2003)

Describing A girl,

Sounds so sweety,

Being so cutie,

Making you the happy beauty,

A nice glowing name,

A title of your fame,

Concluding fame is your game,

Being so cool,

Beating other fools,

Showing that she’s in rule,

Because that cute voice,

I let go off my toys,

Just to hear the angelic beauty noise,

Your sweet great aura,

Make me never to say tata,

But to serve you your chocolate,

That pretty hip face,

Plus the smile I kept gaze,

Made me drown in big race,

Truth of Greed for the future

Day by day,

Man strive for achievements

Upon reaching the top, And be known, everyone eyes,

similar,

A Tree grows, up and high, higher, better, greater,

easier to be known, yet,

the little ones, left below,

uncared, helpless, hopeless, dies to be forgotten,

Day by day,

Man strive for achievements

Upon reaching the top And be known, everyone eyes,

Similar,

A living animal Bigger, stronger, faster, Keeps longer stay,

Thus control population, Yet,

the others, Become minority,

Dies to lesser number, Thus Extinct,

Day by day,

Man strive for achievements

Upon reaching the top And be known, everyone eyes,

Is that Human nature?

Or way of mother nature?

Better yet, what lies in the future?

Or is there a future of this?

Despite Greed to poverty,

Evil to love,

Lying to truth,

Wildness to liberty,

Day by day,

Man strive for achievements

Upon reaching the top And be known, everyone eyes,

Only ONE win to, Creating more and more,

aimless losers, gave up, unlucky players, -Sept 2004

Wondering the random part 1

meanings varies...

a smile in suffering,

a joke from opposition,

a say without being true,

an act of joy,

creating and alter-ego or best as hypocrite...

some for better, but most for worse..

for hunger,

for lust,

for self-cantered intention,

where is the truth?

where is the good?

where is honesty?

where is generosity?

where is the care that we all have been praising about?

the true care that connects everyone regardless of their how and who they are...

the care that differentiate us from other kinds..

the care that brought us this far of civilization...

the care that we are or were from..

that care is fading...

being replaced by the damned selfishness,

the self centeredness,

the self satisfying,

for the result of one...

the cause is all others....

Eternity

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,

Where there is hatred let me sow love,

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is doubt , faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

Where there is sadness, joy;

O divine Master, Grant that I may not so-much seek,

To be consoled, as to console,

To be understood, as to understand,

To be loved, as to love,

For it is in giving that we receive,

It is in pardoning that we are forgiven,

It is in dying that we are born

To eternal life.